SPORTS SPECIAL: 'BASHERS FIGHT LIKE WUSSES

Earlier this month, in an undisclosed location, two teams met in glorious battle. The Ahrouns, led by none other than all-star Odin “Two Hammers” Rhya, met a rag tag group known by most as “Damn Ragabash”, led by Hall of Famer Aaron “Talks to Himself” Rhya (no relation). The two sides had been squaring off ever since a Ragabash player was heard shooting his mouth off about being “Able to take an Ahroun." That player, known to most, as “Big Shot” was present at the battle.

The match started off during an Ahroun training session, when, for seemingly no reason, Aaron Rhya, with what some people described as a enlarged sense of bravado (it had to fit his body), charged into the knot of Ahroun players, thrashing about. Charging behind him, in an effort to cover his flanks, were the rest of his team. The battle was long, bloody, and savage, with beatings laid far and wide. The ragabash gained an early advantage with surprise and a 30-foot elder crinos, but the Ahrouns recovered quickly with superior numbers, weapons, rage scores, abilities, physicality, and expert leadership.

One "brave" Ragabash maintained his advance along with Aaron Rhya into the main group of opposing players, while the main Ragabash stayed behind to dogpile a lone Ahroun. The Ragabash team managed to subdue the Ahroun player in a hole opened in the ground by Odin Rhya. Unfortunately, for the rag-tag band of 'Bashers, a crafty pair of Black Furies pulled a textbook umbral flanking maneuver, and then took advantage of their untouched rage pool and superior weapons by flattening most of the Ragabash in a matter of seconds.

The battle looked won, at least what could be seen of it on the edge of the shroud of darkness. The Ahrouns howled demanding surrender, as most of the opposing team was stuffed into a hole. The Ragabash answered with their own howl of mockery, and redoubled their efforts. Lineman Blake “Sparky” Paulson's “jackpipe” wanged one of the Black Furies, a Hispanic little scrapper, right in the nog. Unfortunately, Paulson never was known for his physicality, and the plucky little Ragabash failed to stop the Furies’s advance. However, before the lovely ladies of mayhem could continue with they eviceration of the Ragabash formation, the battle was called, as the Ahrouns had managed to knock down Aaron Ryha, landing him on top of the rallied 'Bashers.

One highlight of the battle is two newcomers to the Ragabash team, Chance, a Get homid, and Shayna Reed, a Bone Gnawer, both showing their skills at taking a beating at the hands of a superior force. Overall, it is clear that the Ahrouns won the battle, and that the Ragabash will no longer take lightly the words that they are not Gaia’s chosen warriors.